When someone sins against you, how do you respond?
I recently heard a preacher say (paraphrased): “For those who have wronged you, write their names down, ask yourself what they owe you, and think about how you can forgive them and release them of the debt.” That’s solid advice.
When forgivenss is extended, everyone wins.
King David put it bluntly:
“The Lord looks down from heaven on all mankind to see if there are any who understand, any who seek God. All have turned away, all have become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one.” (Psalm 14:2–3, NCV)
The truth is, we’ve all sinned. None of us are immune.
Here’s a real situation: A spouse secretly gave away large sums of money—$75,000 to $100,000 over four years—to their adult wayward child, hiding it from their partner.
The emotional fallout was catastrophic: rage, confusion, and a profound sense of betrayal. Why would someone do this? Fear, misplaced priorities, idolizing or enabling wayward children, or insecurity could all play a role.
I’ll leave the diagnosis to someone more qualified, but the question remains: how does the shocked spouse respond?
When someone wrongs you, how do you respond?
Here’s some advice for those who are going to be involved only in counseling:
Protect confidentiality. Don’t involve people who can’t provide biblical counsel or help with wisdom and discretion and follow up. While sharing with someone trusted may help you process your emotions, be selective and prayerful about whom you involve.
Start with love. Lead with care and compassion.
Listen and learn. Gather all the facts before speaking or reacting.
Share biblical advice wisely. Speak with love and at the right time. Timing matters—there’s a time to speak and a time to stay silent.
Offer tangible support. Give them something to do that will heal and help. Helping both the victim and the offender is important. Healing is a journey, and both sides need it.
Follow up. Keep checking in to encourage growth and healing, and continue to give them something to do to grow and change.
It’s not the time to judge, gossip, or flaunt your understanding. Be empathetic, caring, and helpful—or choose to stay silent and pray.
We are all sinners helping sinners, broken people helping broken people. Some sin out of dysfunction, fear, or insecurity; others out of sheer malice. Regardless, we all need grace.
You can’t go wrong doing the right thing. And the right thing is to extend your effort with love, listening, learning, and leading others to God’s guidance, prayer, and forgiveness.
Lord, for those who sin, forgive. For those who are confused, guide. For those who are hurting, heal. And for those who do wrong, remind us that it’s Your job to handle them—not ours. Help us love and support others in their time of need. In Jesus’ name, Amen. ♥️
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